June 2026

To Whom It May Concern,

I hope this letter receives you well. My name is Jean (JT) Teodoro. I was a Bay Area based organizer for the National Democratic (ND) Movement of the Philippines in 2007-2008, 2013-2021. In honor of the cause of the ND Movement, I write this open letter in hopes of reaching a resolution between myself and some individuals who are leading our local Bay Area ND organizing community. My intention through this letter is to progress with faith towards understanding, resolution and healing in our interwoven village, especially as we share mutual aspirations towards justice, liberation, genuine democracy & mass-oriented progress, from the Philippines to Turtle Island. As we have endured global crises, the rise of fascism, the martyrdom & deaths of our loved ones – as we have also celebrated life milestones & the births of new family members, I am called to once again invite a process of rectification towards one another. Our movement calls us to unite, especially in times like these. Over five years of unresolved issues have caused tension or avoidances between ND organizers and myself in mutually shared communities. I hope we can find much more meaningful resolution than continue a culture of avoidance & cancelation. I hope this letter can be helpful to anyone affected by the themes addressed in this letter, anyone who cares for the organizational integrity of the ND Movement, or anyone striving towards growing transformative justice in our world. I write this open letter in service of you, of us, and our movement. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. I hope it adds value to your life journey in any way.

If you are mourning and grieving the loss of a loved one, I am sending you my deepest love. You continue to be in my prayers.

Glory to all martyrs! Justice for all martyrs! May our new ancestors bear witness to our trials. May their spirits guide our struggles.

This letter was written with continued belief in the political aspirations of the ND Movement, and with a desire to continue contributing to its growth. This letter (just as any attempt by anyone to uphold necessary truths or resolve conflicts) is a sincere labor of love dedicated to our revolutionary movement. It is meant to continue or start the conversations needed for resolution and progress. It welcomes feedback, responses, dialogue, criticism and disputes.

The truths shared here are not meant to be convenient; they are revelatory. I intend for every criticism I continue to share, every truth I continue to reveal, to be an act of love and comradeship. After all, the only way to truly know what our comradeship is worth, is to learn how each of us responds when inconvenient truths are shared. I hold to the Maoist principle “let a hundred flowers bloom; let a hundred schools of thought contend,” not only in ideology or methodology, but also in the discernment of truth. All matters that come to light, exist to enlighten the movement.

My criticisms speak to a standard that I reciprocate – a standard that I also hold myself to. Everything that I ask of others are things that I strive to practice myself. I am happy to converse about the contents of this letter. I am happy to receive any questions, suggestions or responses.

I humbly offer this open letter as my best course of action for accountability and resolution, as I have previously approached many possible channels to address the matters I raised here. Throughout 2019-2024, I tried to have dialogues about these matters with my kasamas (comrades) many times, in the most principled forms possible, given the circumstances – from direct conversations, to matters raised in meetings, to the process we engaged in before my exit, to messages and letters. I still tried to communicate with my kasamas even after my coerced exit from ND organizing in August 2021. I sent a letter in May 2023 to the leadership of our ND Movement with the same requests I am making in this letter. In 2024, I tried to have dialogue with individuals who are central to this issue, but I was stonewalled.

In the absence of dialogue, I am left with no choice but to communicate the contents of this open letter as a last resort. In this letter, I will need to name certain events, behaviors and practices to provide my burden of proof. I will also provide necessary photos and screenshots of messages. Certain individuals will be referred to using single letters rather than their names. My intention is to focus on the actions to reveal a culture we must remold from. I do not intend on focusing on particular individuals, though they may have to be identified for the verification of certain events.

More important than interpersonal challenges, this open letter aims to address the culture of avoidance, retaliation, gossip, slander, libel and triangulation that is normalized in our Bay Area ND organizing. Though I have been exposed to many accounts of how this culture has caused the exit of numerous other ND organizers internationally and locally, this letter draws only from my direct experiences.

I reiterate that all matters and points I share in this open letter were shared with my kasamas in the best possible channels, multiple times throughout multiple years. I have tried to protect the safety of our organization by communicating with them as directly as possible. None of my points here should be a surprise to those kasamas. I must widen the scope of my message because those kasamas previously ignored them.

I intend for this letter to be shared only as needed. I do not intend for it to be shared widely with people who have no such concerns regarding ND organizing, or the issues covered here. Hence why this open letter is an unlisted page on my website, rather than in more public platforms, like in blog pages or in social media. Please respect my request to keep this letter only for people of concern.

The perspective I share in this open letter is mine alone. I do not expect anyone to side with me in any conflict, or to accept my experience as the only truth. I am simply sharing my personal experience as honestly as I can, in the best way possible at this point, to contribute to the larger truths of the matter.

This open letter was drafted in May 2024, and was updated as recently as June 2026 to reflect later developments.

Summary of Points:

Acknowledging Essential Context

What harm was done?

What is the possible motive for the harm?

Why does this issue matter to our movement? What is at stake?

The effects of this unresolved issue on the community and myself

The Truth of the Allegations

More related experiences within the ND Movement

Resolutions

What lessons can we apply from this experience?

What was my history like with the ND Movement?

Acknowledging Essential Context

I acknowledge my identity and positionality as a cis male of color in a world traumatized by patriarchy, misogyny, machismo, chauvinism and hyper-masculine violence. I understand that as a cis male, I have to further earn trust in our communities because of our patriarchal society. I am not a perfect being, and I continually strive to be an uncompromising accomplice & comrade to my femme, trans & queer family.

I apologize to any kasamas and friends if, in my reaching out to them for a conversation or support, they felt alarmed, or if they felt that I may simply be trying to change their minds to favor my personal interest. I apologize if at any point I contributed to anyone’s sense of fear, or if I triggered any trauma. My intention is to uplift accountability, truth, understanding, healing, trust, confidence, justice and transformation. If there is any way we can have healthy and progressive conversations, please let me know. I am willing to try anything for the genuine benefit of our relations.

It is my life’s work to wholeheartedly cultivate spaces of justice and safety – especially for femme, trans and queer folks. I am vigilant in maintaining such spaces, and I support anyone who is also vigilant in doing so. From their experiences with males, I am cognizant of the trauma that exists among femme, trans and queer folks. I am accepting of people’s skepticism, fear and anger towards males in our society. I understand why it is normal to speculate whether someone, particular a male, is doing anything malicious or harmful towards others. I myself am vigilant with male behavior. I strive to create cultural environments where males develop healthier relationships with themselves, with the world, with trans, queer and femme folks.

It is the duty of men to be kapwa, family, siblings, kasamas, comrades, accomplices and allies to trans, queer and femme folks. Men must be ideologically, culturally, politically and interpersonally supportive of, be accountable to, and make sacrifices for trans, queer & femme folks.

What harm was done?

I preface this section by naming that in a meeting to resolve an issue in July 2020, after experiencing slander from a kasama that I had to resolve throughout January to June 2020, I begged in tears to the kasamas of my local team to value communicating and inquiring directly in a comradely manner if they have concerns about another kasama. I begged for them to value inquiring directly rather than making assumptions, conjectures and gossiping. I told them that this was an important practice to me because gossip, assumptions & conjectures were all-too-common behaviors I have experienced and seen others experience, both inside and outside of our community.

In our settler-colonial capitalist society, I have witnessed the constant decay of our relations, our humanity, and our behavior towards each other. This caused me to aspire for purposeful bonds that are built by our daily organizing. I joined the ND Movement aspiring for a society of greater discernment beyond gossip, slander, libel and triangulation, which are devices of fascist intelligence operatives, imperial propagandists & colonial ideologues.

In 2021, I was active for the youth & student sector of our National Democratic organizing in San Francisco with the goal of building up the leadership of Anakbayan San Francisco (now Anakbayan City College of San Francisco). Since 2015, I diligently led the effort to establish this chapter, despite several misdirections of our leadership throughout those years. After working tirelessly for years, codeveloping our organizational infrastructure & educational material to help optimize ABSF’s future operations, I planned to gradually transition out of the organization and serve the movement in a new capacity in 2021, in consultation with our leadership.

In March of that year, I received a memo that was previously disseminated to and reviewed by the leadership of the ND organizations of San Francisco. It was written by a kasama, Z, who was designated to lead our overall local organizing, and who I worked closely with. Kasama Z wrote the memo in collaboration with the two other leading kasamas of our organizing team, W and B. In this memo, Z requested an investigation process on me regarding 10 allegations they made of these natures: that I harmed people in our organizations & in our community, and that I was enacting opportunism by using my influence in the organizing space for personal gain, or to boost my artistic endeavors. Before receiving this published memo, not a single kasama ever inquired with me about these allegations they made about me – with their suspicions apparently spanning 1.5 years.

It was later revealed that the leading kasamas did not consult the people they alleged that I harmed, nor did they ever talk to them. Yet they created allegations based on certain events they heard about and projected on. The people who were allegedly harmed were not centered in the process. They were not consulted or communicated with at all. They did not know that there was an accountability process in their name. Two of the people the kasamas named were harmed, were still good friends of mine. They once in a while asked me how I was doing. Because of this accountability process, I was respectfully sparing in my communication with them. After finally having longer catch-up conversations with each of the two people, I ended up breaking the news of this process with them. They were each surprised. They each confirmed with me in the Fall of 2022 that there were no allegations they were concerned with or needed accountability for.

As a justice-oriented community organizer who strives to be an ally to my kinfolk who are more vulnerable and marginalized, I greatly value accountability. Battling opportunism is precisely one of the main values that made want to be an organizer. I appreciate it when folks feel comfortable to call me in. The harm I am identifying however, is the practice of triangulation and defamation under the guise of vigilance and accountability.

The leading Kasama Z, along with W & D, weaponized and created allegations out of my sharings with them in our mutually vulnerable conversations. They made allegations based on 36 significant pieces of false information; much of which came from assumptions, mischaracterizations, gossip, hearsay, second or third hand information, and details used out of context. In the investigation process, there were 7 conjectures made by the mediators – much of which were based on the false information. There were also 15 statements or significant pieces of information given that were readily accepted in the process but actually required more investigation, clarification or validation. By making 10 allegations about me using false information and conjectures, there was a premise set that I had a character that was beyond defense, reason or conversation – that I was a person who no longer deserved comradeship, friendship or any interaction at all. If other kasamas did their due diligence to investigate this matter without jumping to conclusions, they would find out that each and every one of the allegations are unfounded.

Kasamas would also find out that I had been comradely and compassionate towards all people named in the allegations, all of my kasamas, and truly all people I come across. Being humble, gentle, delicate and openminded is a conduct I value, and I hope this is reflected in this letter, as well as memories of peoples’ direct experiences with me, however early or recent.

Though I’ve had moments of anger in my life, I will say that every moment I was angry was provoked, prompted or necessary. I had been angry in response to intolerable or unacceptable harm, rudeness or negligence. I am peaceful, agreeable, cooperative and compassionate; I am not violent.

In their memo they spread about me, Kasama Z cited suspicions regarding events as early as September 2019 – a year and a half before the memo they sent our community in March 2021. Yet throughout that time, they worked closely with me, stayed over as a guest at my apartment, kept me as a good friend to them & their family, considered asking to stay at my apartment for an extended period during their July 2020 emergency, and they never once inquired with me about their suspicions. I will respectfully say that throughout that time, it was actually Kasama Z who was ironically flirty and touchy with me. They have several times said suggestive things towards me, which I gently and politely turned down or did not reciprocate.

In September 2022, I was able to confirm that the leading Kasamas Z, W and D, did not ever talk to the people they said I harmed. It took me over a year to confirm this because in the investigation process, I respected the request not to speak with the people I allegedly affected. Even after the investigation process was halted, and even when we were still friends based on our direct interactions with each other, I was minimal in communicating with the people I allegedly affected. It was after each of my friends who I allegedly affected reached out to me several times throughout the next year and a half, asking how I had been, that I was prompted to apologize to them if I ever made them feel uncomfortable. They were each surprised about my apology, so I told them that I underwent an accountability process regarding events that involved them. They each told me that they never asked for accountability on any events, nor did they know such an accountability process was happening in their name. One of them, H, wrote a note about feeling uncomfortable that her experiences were being discussed but not coming directly from her. Please find this note in the [section]. The other friend E was also willing to write a letter regarding the matter.

[this next paragraph will be moved to the “debunking allegations” section]

The person who wrote this note below, H, told me that she worried that I might have liked her. She told me that she talked about this speculation with Z. We have since clarified in December 2019 that we were just friends, and that there was no romantic intent between us. Yet kasama Z claimed I said suggestive things toward H, and that I was the cause of H’s exit from our organization. The truth of the matter is that H who is Viet, told me she wanted to join our organization to learn how to facilitate for another CCSF organization she started. She told me in August 2019 that she planned to exit our organization by the end of October that year. This is precisely what she did. At the end of October, H, Z, most of our organization and I, even acknowledged this at a celebratory moment during our Halloween fundraiser event.

[ photo of Eira’s message here ]

Throughout 2021-2024, my verbal accounts on the matters named in this letter were met with avoidance, skepticism, or were not believed at face value. I also submitted written accounts in 2021 and 2023, to which I did not get a reply to my claims. Throughout this period, I did my best to be receptive of any criticisms kasamas gave me on how best to deliver my concerns, and I implemented any changes they suggested for me. Kasamas often stonewalled me.

In the letter I sent to my kasamas in May 2023, I shared my messages with clear accounts, and I requested for accountability & resolutions from harmful experiences in 2021, as well as the prior years leading up to that period. I asked my kasamas to compare the memo for investigation, to their direct conversations with the women they alleged I affected, as well as all the evidence I presented to them about their allegations. I asked our kasamas to follow up with a unity we made in a 2021 meeting, noted as a follow-up item: “For JT and other team leaders to conduct further inquiry with all the women who’s been harmed, learn from the perspectives of the women who’s been harmed, and self-criticize to the women on the weaknesses of the local organizing, and help the women sum up their own experiences and lessons.” If the women’s testimonies as well as the evidence I presented, show that the allegations made were false, I asked the kasamas to acknowledge the defamation and clarify the matter with all people who were affected by or exposed to the defamation. The kasamas responded in October 2023 and told me that the matters I raised in my letter to them were no longer actionable because too much time has passed since I left ND organizations in 2021, when a defamatory process in a time of crisis left me no choice but to leave my organization. Nevertheless, the matters I raised then continue to cause concern and harm today, with no resolution. Furthermore, the complete truths of the matters raised in 2021, did not reveal themselves until the Fall of 2022.

Kasamas Z, W and D, committed libel by writing in a memo their allegations against me based on false or fabricated information, spreading this memo to the leadership of different organizations throughout San Francisco, and never once inquiring with me about their suspicions. Leaders in ND organizations continue to slander me by telling people in many communities that I am part of, that “there are concerns about me from the organizing space,” that “I am unaware of how I impact people,” as well as many labels or characterizations that they have freely spread, yet did not give any context or qualification for. During our investigation, it was made clear that the process would be confidential, yet after the investigation, rumors about me were spread with many people I came across throughout many different spaces since August 2021.

As a consistently active organizer who communicated with my team on a daily basis, I was not aware that I was in question, nor did I know that there were disputes in information regarding events that happened in 2016-2019, around 1.5-5 years before the blindsiding memo and investigation process requested about me. Rather than discussing these matters with me in a comradely manner within our supposedly secure and democratic space, our local leaders bypassed direct inquiry, and declared their suspicions as allegations. They alerted our San Francisco leadership of these allegations, and started an investigation process on me, effectively cornering me into a position where I was forced to recall and contextualize upon the judgment of an audience, my very personal experiences of the events in question that none of them were involved in. It was awkward to have to defend myself in front of seven other kasamas who spoke with certainty regarding their judgments on allegations that they had no direct involvement with. The information that they used as the basis for this investigation were from assumptions, gossip and hearsay. They held primary the second & third hand information they received, they shared misinformation, selected information out of context, mischaracterized the nature of particular events, jumped to accusations rather than inquiry, and accepted their conjectures as fact.

While there was no direct inquiry with the allegedly affected, the mediating kasamas of the March-August 2021 investigation process used correlative logic to judge that I did not act malicious, yet I harmed or affected women while being oblivious of how I impacted them. They characterized me as someone who processes slowly – not acknowledging that I had to untangle the assumptions, conjectures, gossip and misinformation they have spread throughout our compartmentalized groups. They judged that I held my experiences as primary over the experiences of women. Their logic was that there were too many allegations against me, which meant that there seems to be a pattern of many women having negative experiences with me, regardless of my intentions. I hold to the basic rule of logic that “correlation does not imply causation.” There was already a correlation being made about my dynamic with women, but there foremost must have been a gathering of primary sources by inquiring with the women allegedly affected. There should have been an examination of whether this correlation is even true, and what behaviors truly cause the correlations they were observing.

In late January 2021, a month before the blindsiding memo, Kasama B, in trying to mediate the issues between Kasama W and I, asked me pointed questions like “do you have challenges working with women?” To which, I would have incriminated myself if I said “yes,” even if I meant that I’ve had challenges working with individuals who are also women. And I would have sounded like I was in denial if I said “no.” I told her that I focus on the actions, decisions and behaviors of people instead of being attached to ideas of who they are supposed to be because of their identity. A week later, I talked to Kasama Z about my grievances with Kasama W’s continued passive aggressiveness, and their antagonistic interpretations of how I executed a basic task that was assigned to me that week. Later in that conversation, I told Kasama Z about Kasama D’s pointed question towards me. I asked Kasama Z if they also feel that I have challenges working with women. Kasama Z told me “I need you to sleep on it” then ended our phone conversation. This series of events showed me that something strange was in the air. There seemed to be a correlation being made about me. This series of events was a foreshadowing of what my kasamas had in store for me, though the memo for my investigation was much more drastic than anything I could imagine.

During the investigation, I couldn’t dispute the judgments against me because I hadn’t heard from the women allegedly affected, and I didn’t know that everyone else in the room hadn’t either. It would have been arrogant of me to question the allegations at that time, so I listened and accepted the criticisms, assuming that the women allegedly affected, truly did express feeling harmed by me. I trusted that the kasamas were giving their due diligence to investigate this matter with integrity, clarity & principle. If I questioned the allegations then, I would have reinforced the judgment that I was oblivious of how I affect women, and that I held primary my experiences over theirs.

“Combat Liberalism” by Mao Tse-tung is a foundational text that our organizations read. Our San Francisco leadership committed a type of liberalism written in this text: “To indulge in irresponsible criticism in private, instead of actively putting forward one’s suggestions to the organization. To say nothing to people in their faces, but to gossip behind their backs, or to say nothing at a meeting but to gossip afterwards. To show no regard at all for the principles of collective life but to follow one’s own inclination.” If my kasamas had suspicions of me or speculations about me, they could have inquired with me about them, either amongst those of us who aware of the matter, or even at our local chapter meeting, if need be. It was harmful to avoid direct inquiry with me, then publish a memo about me – fabricating information and language to incriminate me by.

The defamation caused my isolation from much of our community, and a great decline in my health during a time of unprecendented crisis & instability. The accumulation of harm from defamation & isolation for a prolonged period caused me retraumatization from similar childhood experiences, and from toxic family & work dynamics. It caused my mental destabilization.

As I prepared for graduate school & my first year as a public high school teacher towards the end of the quarantine in 2021, I was forced to choose between enduring the harmful & isolating process of my organizing team – disallowing me to talk to anyone about the allegations until our next investigation meetings which were scheduled in month-long intervals, and preserving my well-being by exiting the organization.

I wanted to enter 2021 prepared as an ND organizer, public school teacher and a graduate student, knowing the task at had was difficult. Instead, the investigation process caused me to be mentally unstable. It was ongoing as I was beginning my school year as the only educator teaching and creating materials for my particular subject, high school Filipino World Language, in my school district – fighting to ensure that the program continues on. The stress caused me to drop out of graduate school 4 times. My work as an artist, my finances, my personal accounts, and my household were impacted.

It was truly damaging that after experiencing repeated defamation and abusive behavior in 2020, I experienced a new level of defamation in 2021 – especially since like many kasamas, I made large sacrifices to make myself available for our organizing work for over a decade. I gave our organizing work many of my mornings, evenings and weekends. I responded to many emergencies throughout those years. I always made sure folks were fed, supported and safely home from our events. I gave hundreds of rides home to kasamas, our youth and our elders, even when it meant that I had to search for rare street parking late at night in San Francisco. I made sacrifices to move to San Francisco and remain there, even as my housing options were insecure, and as kasamas made my housing situation more difficult throughout 2015-2021. I chose to become a Filipino World Language instructor at the high school where I first got involved in organizing, precisely to work with other kasamas in our community and be of service to our movement. I was diligent in my studies, and in co-facilitating educational discussions. I arranged my entire life to be in service to our movement. I was committed to contributing everything I could to help advance our movement for the rest of my life. Kasamas alleged that I used the movement to gain opportunities, when truthfully, I gave up many artistic, career and life opportunities for our movement. I trusted our leadership with my life. I trusted the processes of our organizations. I relied on them to be an extension of my integrity to the struggle. I had no intentions of becoming inactive. With all that we put at stake to advance and protect the integrity of this movement, I expected kasamas to act with more principle.

Concurrently, my household dealt with two great challenges in 2021 onwards:

1. We lived with a housemate who took advantage of me by purposefully not paying rent and utilities, accessing private spaces in our apartment without our consent, being antagonistic with our household, and leaving me responsible for the unpaid rent as the master tenant, totaling $11,250 over 10.5 months in 2021 alone. It turned out that this person was addicted to crystal meth. Their use of this drug may have been a main cause for their irrational, manipulative and confrontational nature.

2. Our landlord was actively trying to remove us from our rent-controlled apartment. He was antagonistic with me, and he made many false accusations of me. In 2021-2025, he set up over 50 repair appointments in our apartment which I had to leave work to be present for, and I had to clean up after every single job. The landlord’s incompetent contractor left us with recurring and unresolved issues of habitability: leaks on our ceilings, clogged drains, broken and old amenities. From 2021 to 2025, our household had many gaps with finding a third housemate because of our apartment’s issues of habitability, and because I was overwhelmed with the work & school responsibility. I also became mentally destabilized from the stress brought by my cancellation from our community, and because this was a period where many people in our community died in a relatively short span of time. I, as the master tenant of the apartment, had to pay for two spaces in our apartment. I had to cover a total of $36,900 for the second space throughout 2021 to 2025. Fortunately, the SF Emergency Rental Assistance Program helped me with $15,000 of this cost.

When the covid-19 quarantine ended in Fall 2021, instead of finally reconnecting with my community after 1.5 years of physical isolation, instead of being able to ask my community for support with my first year as a teacher & graduate student, or support regarding my housemate, the defamation caused me to be isolated, insular, and to deal with the problems alone. It caused me great anxiety to attend community events where ND leaders were present. I began leaving events, simply staying home, or going some place else. When I shared events that also involved ND leaders and organizers, I experienced stonewalling or passive aggressiveness. This was my experience with over 60 individual ND organizers who I never had direct conversations with about these matters. People who used to express excitement and familiarity upon seeing me, started to hide under their hats, hide behind columns or other people, or ignore me even when I had basic logistical questions to ask them during events. From the Fall of 2021 to this day, I have experienced this behavior around once to five times a month. These events included weddings; memorials for loved ones I hoped to mourn for alongside my community; court hearings for the justice of a loved one who was murdered; political activities I have been involved in for over a decade; demonstrations that relate to my community, my well-being, and the future of my job. This issue caused rifts in relationships within our interwoven communities, as well as risking the security of our organization. Furthermore, this issue has socially, financially and logistically impacted the many who rely on my well-being, as well as my participation in our household, our family & our community.

[ photo of Ashe Ceramics’ message to me the night before Zoe’s memorial, with context ]

What is the possible motive for the harm?

I speculate that the leadership of our local organizing was acting out of retaliation from my effort to address the harmful behaviors I experienced from them. I tried to address incidents when Kasama W hit me, cussed me out, wished hurtful things for me, gossiped about me, and many such toxic attitudes towards me. I collectivized to my group that Kasama Z’s parents had been reaching out to me for months, wanting to know their whereabouts; this upset Kasama Z. I speculate that kasamas were trying to deflect past the criticisms I gave our organizing group, both regarding interpersonal behavior, and the bureaucratic*, mechanical & transactional nature of our organizing. I speculate that because I often raised questions or concerns around decisions made in our group, they acted with the motive to quell any discourse or dissent in local team decision-making, or acted with the motive to gain favorable positions within the movement. I speculate that regional leader Kasama B had her premeditated ideas on how she saw our organizing group operating (who was to lead, who was to be removed, etc) instead of cultivating genuine dialectical exchanges with all her kasamas. I outlined the bases for these possible motives in my full 2023 letter to them. If readers have any inquiry about these motives, I am happy to provide more information upon request.

*By bureaucratic, I mean the manipulation of power dynamics by a few leaders so that decisions will benefit their interests and ideals, while creating the illusion of implementing democratic processes or fair deliberations. These leaders also choose which issues, concerns, unities or tasks they would like to follow up with, and deflect away from the ones they do not favor. This bureaucratic leadership style manifests into commandism: leaders impose particular campaigns and initiatives out of their own projection, or from assuming the willingness and readiness of their community without enough inquiry. These forms of manipulation have long caused the local ND organizing style to be formulaic, performative, clinical and extractive. I believe that this trend is a big reason why, while there are new generations joining ND organizations, there is also a lot of turnover as many ND experienced members continue to leave.

Here is some important context to consider around the timeline of the March 5th, 2021 memo of investigation on me:

1.) In May-July 2020, I requested accountability for the toxic behaviors of hitting, cussing out, passive aggressiveness, gossiping and slandering towards me by Kasama W. While giving Kasama W grace as a 20 year-old at the time, I gently tried to hold them accountable as a kasama. I had in soft but direct ways, appealed to them throughout 2018-2019 to change these behaviors. In September 2020, after learning that I hadn’t been sleeping because my cat was missing for over 3 days, Kasama W told me they wished my cat had died. I was devastated by what they said. After experiencing prolonged toxic behaviors from them, I told them that I no longer had the capacity to talk to them outside of organizing matters. They apologized to me about the matter. I was wary that their apology did not feel sincere, and at some point, they would retaliate against me.

2.) Kasama Z was upset at me for collectivizing an issue in our group: After some family tension in around August 2020, Kasama Z moved away from their family home, withholding their whereabouts from their parents. From September 2020 to March 2021 (even a week after I received the memo of investigation about me), Kasama Z’s parents had been contacting me almost daily, looking for Kasama Z. I had informed Kasama Z of every single time their parents contacted me, looking for them. I had offered Kasama Z help around the situation. I trusted that they had a process for resolving it. In February 2021, Kasama Z’s parents even visited my home unannounced, with their mother collapsing and crying to me, asking me to do anything to help her find her daughter Kasama Z. This prompted me to finally collectivize to our group that this was happening. Kasama Z became upset at me for exposing their issue to our group. I apologized to them about the collectivization. Since those events, they stopped talking to me outside of our formal meetings.

3.) I had criticisms of our bureaucratic, mechanical and transactional organizing which were ignored under the dictates of regional leader Kasama B, channeled through our local leader Kasama Z. My personal observation is that our organizing culture – which was more communicative and dynamic in 2018-2019, started becoming divisive and bureaucratic when Kasama B started leading our group in 2020-2021.

Why does this issue matter to our movement? What is at stake?

I write this letter because our Bay Area community is deeply interwoven, and we will likely further lean on each other in times of strife, chaos and isolation. Since 2020, we weathered through the covid-19 quarantine, several local and international calamities, as well as several sociopolitical upheavals. We have celebrated new births in our community. We have also grieved the deaths of our loved ones. Since 2020, I continue to grieve the death of 35 loved ones I personally knew in my immediate communities: 11 of whom I spent a meaningful amount of time with, 4 of whom I was quite close to, 6 were in my family, and 15 are woven within our ND organizing community. We’ve gone through chaotic and trying times of grief and mourning. These past several years more than ever, we needed to grow stronger together rather than be divided over very resolvable issues. In these times, I value trusting and responsive connections – especially during critical events like births, deaths and urgent matters. I’m certain we all have seen how powerful we are when we are united, and how much we regress when we’re divided. In the words of revolutionary poet Mila D Aguilar, “a comrade is as precious as a rice seedling.”

I intend to communicate this open letter as someone who: still deeply cares for the movement; still wholeheartedly believes in its aspirations for the sovereignty, democracy and liberation of the Philippines; is still active towards advancing its aspirations by any means; and as someone who internalizes the importance of unity. By unity, I mean genuinely building trust, reaching a deeper level of understanding on issues of contention, and advancing the struggle for our people’s liberation together. As fascism continues to grow, as ecocidal and genocidal wars against our planet continue to escalate, the future of our liberation – as well as each step we’ve taken towards progress, is at stake. I still have faith in the National Democratic Movement, its political line, its aspiration to be a solution for the Filipino people, and its aspiration to be a driving force in the International Proletarian Revolution. If we are to overcome the fascists of our society who are abundant in stolen wealth, power, privilege, influence & weaponry, we need to build solidarity and come together as people from all walks for the cause of democracy, justice, liberation & progress. We begin this process by being accountable, building trust and deepening our understanding of each other. I hope that this letter reignites or continues such a process.

How our ND leadership addresses organizational matters like this issue, sets a precedent for the movement’s practices around receptiveness, conflict-resolution and organizing culture. It is the seed of how ND organizations implement systems of discernment and justice. There will be no National Democratic Revolution if totally resolvable issues like these fester instead of heal and educate. We will be increasingly vulnerable to fascist counter-intelligence operatives.

The absence of resolutions to this issue continues to propagate cancel culture. It causes fear & estrangement to our interrelations, as well as several spaces of trust and safety that we steward in our community. It creates doubt in initiatives and communal projects that rely on our relationships of confidence, effectively collapsing these initiatives and projects. Cancel culture does not just harm the people directly involved; it poisons the social climate of communities, especially in times of rising fascism where trust is much more essential. I have personally observed cancel culture existing in our ND organizing since 2015. In these urgent times, there is the call to move fast. Yet the pace of genuine progress requires us to move at the speed of trust.

The effects of this unresolved issue on our community and myself

As someone who has labored as a poet, educator and activist in the San Francisco Bay Area for the last 20 years, and as someone who has organized with the ND Movement for 11 out of the last 20 years, the trust collectively cultivated in my community was repeatedly questioned because of the triangulation, slander and libel committed by our ND leaders.

ND leaders said that the investigation process they entered me in would remain confidential, yet throughout the last 5 years, I have heard from multiple people in multiple spaces that even organizers who never had any contentious interactions with me, have begun to keep away from me from rumors of “concerns in the organizing space.” In recent years, I have reached out to these organizers to inquire about their concerns, and many of them did not respond to me. I can only deduce that these concerns are regarding the slanderous investigation process from the ND space. This vague naming of “concerns” may keep confidential the details of certain situations, but it in effect is causing defamation by calling attention to concerns that are mysterious and have no resolution. It leaves people to speculate on the nature of the matters, to question the trust we built, and out of safety, avoid further interactions with me, or avoid participation spaces that include me. It has triggered people to hear that I may have done some harmful things to femmes, not knowing the information was false.

Over 60 of my relationships in the community became estranged, including my dear relationships with former youth who I cherished being a mentor of. While there was no inquiry with me, I was automatically banned or estranged from events throughout the years.

After hearing rumours about this issue, I was brought into exhausting accountability circles by the stewards of some spaces I was part of, even when they were not ND-affiliated spaces. I was asked about the nature of the vague concerns. I attended several accountability circles throughout the years – the most recent one being late April 2025.

On my way to a dinner gathering in 2023, I heard that concerns about me were shared with the organizers of the dinner, which made people question their safety. This caused me to get off my carpool ride halfway towards the event, and spend my night alone at a cafe instead.

In 2024, I was banned from the memorial of a loved one in our community who was tragically murdered, even though the community around our loved one is separate from the ND organizing community. I was banned after I was spotted by an ND organizer, Kasama Q, during a previous memorial for our loved one.

After experiencing isolation throughout 2020-2021, many of my relationships which were previously amicable, were clearly estranged. Instead of warm “hello’s” and moments of gratitude after a long period of isolation during the quarantine, ND organizers and our mutual connections throughout these last 5 years avoided me, walked away from me, or physically hid from me. Invitations I received in our community for collaborations, performances and other opportunities were rescinded after the organizers heard about the concerns that ND organizers spread about me. It broke my heart to come across my former youth in festivals, community events, schools, public spaces, and be fearfully avoided instead of sharing the excitement we had for each other in the past.

One hurtful estrangement was my abrupt and unexplained exit from Anakbayan San Francisco (ABSF), the organization I diligently and intentionally cofounded & stewarded. The launching of this organization was a culmination of a six-year effort I led, even as it was often misguided by the bureaucracy of our ND leadership. I was asked to abruptly exit from ABSF without being able to share any context or reason behind my exit. Soon after, I was banned by ND leaders from the social media account of the organization.

The Truth of the Allegations

in 2016, I was being asked to apologize for my patriarchal behavior, but they were really referencing this incident. at the time, I couldn’t reveal that this task was assigned to me. I was waiting on my organization to clarify this with the group. instead, the organization used this incident against me

More related experiences to this issue within the ND Movement

In the spaces that I steward, I am serious & uncompromising about issues of safety, justice, consent, healthy relations and revolutionary principles. Since my childhood, I have often been a first responder to concerns of safety or justice in my groups. My focus is to keep the affected at the center, and listen to their needs first. In moments when no one else was capable or willing to do so, I have confronted perpetrators, and inquired directly with alleged perpetrators. I did this even if the perpetrators or alleged perpetrators were friends I was close to, even if they were relatives, and even if it meant ending our relationship, or causing contention. I have numerous times put my body on the line to defend people against perpetrators, abusers, or to de-escalate violence. I have unfortunately responded to many incidents throughout my life, from my childhood, to my teens, to as recent as 2025.

Conversely, during portions of my time in ND organizing, some individuals in our local leadership have demonstrated problematic interpersonal behaviors and avoided accountability for them. During my time in the ND Movement, I have needed to be assertive about the leadership’s need to be more responsible for the safety of our members, as well as being more responsive to our members’ needs and concerns. Ironically, our leaders who wrote the allegations against me are the ones who regularly act and talk unhinged ways. Yet they have the audacity to weaponize my personal information and defame my character.

These leading kasamas know that I have previously experienced stalking and harassment from one of our previous members throughout 2019-2021. I tried to delicately and gently address these behaviors directly with that member throughout those years.

In 2020, I repeatedly asked them for help on my increased anxiety, lack of sleep and overall concern for my health during the quarantine. Both items I mentioned were verbally acknowledged but essentially neglected. Instead, they brought me grave harm by defaming me in our organizing community.

In 2019-2021 alone, I had to confront three friends in three separate and unrelated occasions about allegations that they each assaulted or harmed femmes in our community. Additionally, I consulted the femmes who were allegedly affected. I was able to gain conclusive evidence on two of the alleged perpetrators. There wasn’t conclusive evidence on the third alleged perpetrator. Nevertheless, I continued to center the experiences of the femmes who were allegedly affected, and offered them support at every turn. Through my direct inquiry with the alleged perpetrators and those who were allegedly affected, I was able to gain conclusive evidence on the allegations, rather than making judgements from assumptions.

In an integration trip I was part of to the Philippines in July 2014, I needed to fight for the justice of a kasama who experienced sexual assault towards the end of our trip. If I wasn’t insistent on addressing the matter, there wouldn’t have been a process for her. I confronted a local host and supposed kasama who evidently assaulted our other kasama. He lied through his teeth about the details of the assault, and I had to grill him for the truth. I needed to demand more accountability from our leadership because the assault could have been prevented with more responsible vetting of local hosts.

on Fonz:

the people who I stood up to for their patriarchal violence have tried to punish me by getting me excluded from our mutual circles.

I got excluded from groups that I started and worked very hard to steward & grow

Concluding Message and Resolutions

I have such deep admiration and love for freedom fighters of all forms. I have a clearer appreciation for the many I’ve been able to work closely with in the ND Movement, as I’ve personally witnessed their constant dedication, struggle and sacrifice. I will always remember and cherish the many meaningful memories we shared, and the time we spent together. Being part of our ND organizing community is challenging, but I hold to the faith that no challenge is too difficult to heal from if we are truly trying to do right by each other.

I continue to do all within my humble control to be in the best possible relation to my community and all who have considered me a kasama. I will truthfully say that I have experienced deep harm in ND organizing for a long period of time. It has costed me (and the many who rely on me) a heavy amount of health, labor, time and resources. Despite this, I have in my heart, long forgiven the leadership of our organizations for their actions, regardless of whether or not they acknowledge or take accountability for their behaviors.

I have moved on to meaningful endeavors outside of ND organizing, yet I still do what I can to advance the aspirations of the ND Movement because I truly believe in its cause. Again, I hope this letter helps advance the movement in any form. Since I was seventeen years-old, I have strived to make my vocations and my daily activities dedicated to, attuned with, supportive of, or at least congruent to the values, aspirations & political line of the ND Movement. I have so much room for improvement, but I have never wavered from this commitment, even after I formally left my organizations in 2021.

I could not allow my presence to be reduced to the assumptions, projections and triangulations of kasamas in our movement.

What lessons can we apply from this experience?

We must keep primary the practice of comradely inquiry and discourse. We have to do better than accept identity-based fears & assumptions, or gossip, as fact. Speculation cannot become conjecture, gossip cannot become evidence, correlation cannot mean causation, and projections cannot be mistaken with accepted truths.

If we as ND organizers are to continue to externally project revolutionary ideology, political militance and broad unity, we must be responsible with our interpersonal and personal dynamics. Our projection of revolutionary values should be attuned with the inner-workings of our organization. We cannot be externally projected as mass leaders and internally manipulative. We cannot be externally militant and internally avoidant.

healthy discernment, especially for resistance movements, is a practice where life and death is at stake

Triangulation, slander, libel, are easy harms to commit. yet their impact can be great and prolonged. It takes exponential amounts of communication to address such behavior, depending on each person’s openness and willingness to communicate. It could take years to resolve an issue. Sometimes people who are defamed, slandered and/or libeled, are only vindicated long after their death.

I am aware of the recession in growth, I still remember the urgent calls to motivate, organize and mobilize in 2016 until my exit. ND leaders have to remember that a mass movement can move fast, but it can only move at the speed of trust.

What was my history like with the ND Movement?